Although my outer composer is controlled, my inner self has emotions and thoughts racing through it. I can feel the heat of the spotlights intensifying, blinding me from the audience in front of me. My palms beginning to sweat out of the fear of failing and my fingers are constantly fiddling. Seems like I am the only one who can’t sit still……I look to my left and there is a line up of great men of God completely calm, Dr. Nyquist (Moody Bible Institute’s President), Dr. Haddon Robinson (one of the greatest expository preachers of our time), Roy Paterson (works with Moody Radio), and Dr. O’neal (a Moody professor) and then there is me…..President of Puente. Makes me chuckle actually, because the level of work that I do is no where near compared to the level of work that these men do for the Kingdom of God, but here I am. God has given me the honor and privilege to come before these men and the congregation in prayer.
I know that for a few minutes my voice is going to be heard all over Moody Church. I am going to be the only one speaking and the amplified sound waves are going to bounce back to me. Not only so, Founder’s Week is broadcast live via internet and radio world wide. How could I not be nervous? This feeling actually brought be back to High school and Junior High, because I was alway involved in school plays. I must say God used those school plays to help me prepare for a moment like this, but I still experience the anxiousness of going on stage and saying the “right lines.” This is a familiar feeling and while I know everything is going to be okay, the enemy tries his best to discourage and destroy me and you….I know I do not deserve to pray at Founder’s Week and I am not worthy of interceding on behalf of Moody and Dr. Haddon Robinson, but that does not mean that God cannot use me, like he used the least of men and women from the bible.
All it takes is one moment of peace to give us a lifetime of security and that is what God did. As I sat next to these great men in front of the church…I entered the presence of God. I forgot where I was for a second in time, my focus went from me to God. It was as if I went back to my room where it was me and Him and he calmed my soul. Even though it was a short time, it brought peace to my heart for the rest of the night. That’s all it took…..God gave me a moment of peace for a lifetime of security. Isn’t that what he does all the time with our storms…….?
“He must calm the storm in you, before he calms the storm around you” -Pastor James Ford
When my anxiousness calmed down, it is not to say that I had it all under controlled, it meant that I had peace about the situation. My trust went from me to God, I trusted that he would use me……not that I had to make it happen.
For those of you that heard, I did pray and I talked about Puente. I know the Spirit led my prayer because many people complimented me, but it was not my words but God’s.
This day will never be forgotten. God uses his people, we just have to be willing to be used. This day marks the beginning of a future in the Kingdom of God. Although I graduate in May 2011 God has already started my next phase in life.
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