Dancing With Mirrors

My joy for dancing began when I was thirteen. The dazzling performance by Michael Jackson really captivated my attention and what I thought it would only be a phase in my life became a life passion. Watching one video after another I began to mimic Michael Jackson's dance moves and slowly this new passion gave me hope, encouragement and purpose. 

The unexpected love I grew for dance drove my character to grow in such dynamic ways. Everything I learned was self taught, never being trained I discover my ability to imitate. Watching a dancer to the point where I can repeat that dance move, developed the ability to observe and apply. Focus helped me guide my thoughts and body to precision. Determination took me to new levels and higher standards. Isolating parts of my body at a time taught me to look at details, because the little things are the ones that make the biggest difference. I learned to feel through music and dance that emotion. 

Dancing became such a major part of my life because it makes me feel alive. It literally takes all of me to express myself through dancing. Physically it is so demanding, mentally it is so draining and emotionally....well emotionally is what I want to talk about. 

Recently I have been trying to push myself to take dance classes, because like I said, I have never trained professionally. I know by taking classes I can become a better dancer physically and mentally. But what I struggle with the most is the emotional path a class takes me. 

There is something about dancing in front of mirrors and others that changes my state of mind. I know I need to work on my choreography, but I feel like I have to focus twice as hard as others do in order to pick it up because I did not grow up with it. When the mirrors expose my lack of ability to pick up choreography quickly, immediately my confidence is shot down. When I am looking at myself mess up and watching everyone else grab the dance routine quicker and better than me the constant thought of, "I can't do it," consumes my mind. Slowly I drift to the back of the dance room. At times I have to find myself like the game, Where's Waldo, because shamefully I am hiding behind the other dancers. Hiding does not make a difference, because the dance instructor can see me and can see everything. He or she is kind enough to repeat things over and over, but when my insecurity is on high no matter how many time he repeats it, I am repeatedly discouraged. 

I must say this; dancing is one of my passions and I love doing it but at the same time it is my most challenging and emotional passion in life. I have to try 100 times harder to focus, to persevere and to put lies behind me in order keep moving. 

I know that taking classes will help me grow, but it takes more than just motivation to get me there. It takes purpose. Every dance class, I must be 150% devoted and every time I am discouraged I have to change my mindset and know that I am doing this with greater purpose. My new philosophy is, "If I can't then I must" I have to forget about the people around me and focus on the instructor because only he is really going to help me improve. There are always better dancers and they will always be in the same class as me, but I cannot focus on that. I have to focus on me becoming a better dancer and doing dance with precision and quality. 

This is easier said than done, and I would assume much of you like myself have experiences or desires in life just like this. What I seen over and over in my life, is that the greater the challenge the greater the victory. The greater the storm is the stronger I become. The longer the race is the stronger the heart becomes. Now this is easier said than done; but I cannot let my emotional state of discouragement stop me from pursuing my life purpose. If you can relate to this, do not let struggles be the cause of quitting, but let it be the catalyst for a stronger pursuit.

What mirrors in your life expose your insecurities? And what passion do you feel inadequate about chasing? Is it time you step up to the challenge and accept the new philosophy, "If I can't then I must?" Do not limit yourself to think you are incapable, because you will only go as far as you think you will. Think of a great role model in your life; have you ever read their biography? They start and struggle just like us, but we overlook that and focus on the great level they are at now. They too had mirrors that exposed their insecurities, the difference is they did not let feeling inadequate stop them.