Home Alone

As I sit quietly in this still and chilly night of mid December. Unlike other nights, tonight my thoughts speak louder than my words. Although, I am a stranger to this level of peace I am not inclined to refute it. I let the stillness continue. The flickering lights on the Christmas tree grab my attention as I lose myself in its gentle illumination.

Being here alone, watching the seconds slowly go by one at a time, I can't help but think of my family. I think about all the good times we have had during the holidays. I think about all the laughs we shared....and I also think about all the storms we have overcome. I think about my mothers ability to love beyond any condition, her caring and tender heart ministers to those around her. I think about my father perseverance and determination, if I know a man who never gives up it is him. I think about my older brother, my role model who has a voice that those around him have no choice but to listen to. I think about my sister, who sees life through the eyes of God. Her heart rejoices and mourns with those who laugh and cry. And I think about my youngest sister, someone with so much potential and hope. Her energy brings so much life to those around her. Really what I think about is home, the place where I have spent the most treasurable times in my life.

My heart is filled with joy when i meditate on those things but at the same time it is burdened with sorrow. Because for the second year I cannot make it home for the holidays. I guess it wouldn't be as bad if my roommates were not with their family celebrating the holidays.... The temptation is to be depressed and enter despair, the temptation is to focus in the regrets and remain in the past. The temptation is to lose hope and to lose sight of purpose and the big picture.

Although it is easy to fall into those things, in which last year I did, I thank God because he has allowed me to partake in a new home. I have been blessed to enter a community where they build character not status, love unconditionally not according to what you can do, bring such light an energy that touches the lives of other, live genuinely and not for the likeness of another, speaks truth in a society based on lies, persevere through life's curveballs, and unselfishly worry about the needs of others before their very own.

God knew what he was doing even when I was so focused on self and placed him in the background. In preparation for the holidays he gave a place I can call home and a group I can call family.

I am humbled and honored; I am excited and passionate about growing with this community.

After all what is life if it is not expressed in love. And what is love if it is not unconditional in relationship. And what is relationship if it is not strengthened in community and what is community if it is not pure and genuine. And what is genuine if it is not spoken in truth. And what is truth if it is not understood through faith. And what is faith if it is not founded in God.